The Guy Opinions Blog

I am so frustrated about how my relationship with my wife is going. I wish it were different. I can’t help but feel resentment towards religion because I feel that it has caused me a lot of unneeded stress in my life. How can I compete with a God that is absent and can do no wrong? HONESTLY, what chance do I have against an idea?

Years ago I was naive and thought that the truth would set me free. I thought that once I realized the truth about my faith that others would appreciate me being honest with them.  However, the truth about the LDS religion has done little more than to trap me in a battle I can not win.

I am in a relationship with someone who believes anyone with standing in her church over anything I have to say. I take second place to anyone who says that her version of God is real. I am supposed to take life advice from some rando who works at the local gas station hosing off the sidewalks. It is such a struggle for me when we fight because who can win against the idea of a God. How do you get a person to see reason when they fear to even let the thought in?

Do I need to sacrifice my own integrity and go along with this lie? Do I allow my children to be brainwashed in order to have a happy life? What kind of damage is going to be created by playing along with this religion? Will I be able to look at myself in the mirror if I allow my kids to blindly follow something that is so ridiculous? What kind of torture must I endure to keep my family together and my integrity intact? Is there room for both integrity and family or will my lack of faith be the end to my happy home?

Being in a 3-some with Jesus is so FUCKING hard. He gets the credit for all the great things in the relationship and takes none of the blame for the bad. I get stuck with the bad. I get stuck with all the faults that this stupid idea has created.

I know there are things about myself that I need to work on. I could spend more time with my kids. I could work harder at losing weight. I could spend more time listening to the endless complaints my wife has about the things she wants to talk about. But… can I live with the knowledge that I allowed my daughter to believe in a religion that is SO unfair to women? A religion that sets men as the leaders of their church with women always serving the man?

I feel like I am stuck in a catch 22. I am screwed either way. Jesus is literally tearing my family apart and he is little more than an idea. Will my life be counted among the billions of other lives that religion has destroyed?

It is hard to see the brighter side when you are so far down.

Thanks for taking the time to listen to this rant.

Above all, just try to live your life without regret.

So, I am going to make this blog to give me a place to VENT and to PROCESS the things that I want to talk about. I hope this all goes well and that I can use this as a way to express myself. I know that there are people who care about me and who want me to do well but honestly I feel ALONE. I have spent over 1 yr in my basement working every day trying to grow my business and I spend hour after hour alone without anyone to talk with.

I… ya know I think I would feel different if I were working in an office and able to see people a little. Just being able to say hello to someone and have a face to face interaction would feel so Refreshing! Ya know?… 

Anyways, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE what I do for work. I love being creative and solving problems. I just need a friend. I have friends I barely even speak with. I have a buddy in Mexico that I speak with more than the friends here in the USA. Lately, I have gotten sick of being the one who always reaches out and has to work on being the friend to others. WHY IS IT NOT EQUAL?

Anyways, as you can tell, I am slightly bitter about how it is all going with my social life. I have a spouse and kids and my kids are for sure my best friends.  love hugging them and seeing them and I hope to do that more. If it were not for my children, I am sure my loneliness would be a lot worst. Just thinking about my kids now makes me feel the burden of being alone is going away. I just feel guilty if I am not working as many hours as I do.

As you can tell I have a lot of stuff I need to work out. For one thing, I need to find a HOBBY that my kids can do with me that’s FUN!

We will see how this goes. I am pretty monotone but we will see if I can be entertaining enough for you. LOL

Thanks for taking the time…